The Lenten Parish Retreat was held at our St. Luke Church on Sunday weekend, March 15-16-17. Fr. Roman Bobesiuk conducted the retreat on the theme “The Holy Mystery of Repentance.”
Here is the text of the material that was mostly based on Catechism “Christ our Pascha.”
03/15/2024
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Today we have the first day of our Parish retreat. The retreat theme is the “Holy Mystery of Repentance or Confession”. Why we use the Holy Mystery?
403 In the Holy Scripture and the teaching of the Fathers, the meaning of the term mystery is particularly extensive.
“The mystery of God’s will” is what Saint Paul calls God’s “plan for the fullness of time, to gather up all things in [Christ], things in heaven and things on earth” (Eph 1:9-10).
For Christians, mystery ultimately means Christ in our midst (see Col 1:27). Therefore, knowledge of the mystery of God’s salvation is the knowledge of Christ, “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Col 2:3). Briefly stated, Mystery—is Christ, and all that he did and does for us.
404 After his Ascension, Christ continues to remain among his disciples—Christians throughout the ages—and to act for their and the whole world’s salvation. We proclaim this in the kontakion of the feast:
“You ascended in glory, O Christ our God, in no way distant, but remaining inseparable.” These words echo the Lord’s assurance: “And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Mt 28:20).
In his Church, Christ continues to teach, feed, heal, forgive, and revive. Thus, the Church herself can be called the mystery of his presence, the place where God and people meet. The fifth-century Pope of Rome Saint Leo the Great explained: “that which till then [Christ’s Ascension] was visible of our Redeemer was changed into a sacramental presence.”
In our Church we have the Seven Sacramental Mysteries
405 The saving and sanctifying action of the Church is accomplished in seven Holy Mysteries. These are: Baptism, Chrismation, Eucharist, Repentance, Holy Anointing, Marriage, and Orders. Through these sacred actions of the Church, Christ grants the grace of the Holy Spirit. Through these Mysteries the Church sanctifies the faithful on their journey to the fullness of life in Christ. Through visible signs (e.g., water, chrism, bread and wine, the laying on of hands) Christ builds up his Church in the Holy Mysteries. In the liturgical actions of the Mysteries it is God’s grace that acts, and believers enter into God’s life. By participating in the visible form of a Mystery, that is, through the liturgical action, we become partakers of God’s salvific action of grace.
The Holy Mysteries Are a Synergy of God and Human Persons
406 The synergy, or joint operation, of God and human persons in the Mysteries manifests itself as an exchange in which God discloses himself in love, grants his grace—his very life—to human persons, who receive this gift and in turn respond in love. The salvation of men and women consists precisely in their becoming capable, in Christ, of loving as Christ loved us (see Jn 13:34). In opening themselves to the gift of grace, human persons fully abandon themselves to the will of God in order to grow in faith, hope, and love, even “to the measure of the full stature of Christ” (Eph 4:13).
407 Through Baptism, Chrismation, and the Eucharist, called the Mysteries of Christian Initiation, a person becomes a member of the Body of Christ and is enabled to participate in Christ’s priesthood, kingship, and prophetic mission. Through the Mysteries of Repentance and Anointing, called Mysteries of Healing, we receive both spiritual and physical healing. Through the Mysteries of Service, Priesthood and Marriage, Christians are consecrated to the service of the ecclesial community or to the domestic church.
Also, the Holy Mystery of Baptism is the key for another Holy Mysteries. If someone is not baptized then it is prohibited to receive any Mysteries.
447 As a consequence of our first parents’ fall, human will became weakened. The capacity to recognize and choose the good was also enfeebled.
In their relations with God and neighbor and in their attitude towards themselves and their environment, human persons began to be guided not by love and self-giving but by an egotistic exploitation of the other for personal and consumeristic gain. A consequence of the Fall is the loss of every person’s wholeness. This manifests itself in physical and spiritual suffering, in sickness and death.
448 Christ came into the world to heal and save the human race, to renew the wholeness lost by human persons. During his earthly life, Christ, the healer of human souls and bodies, remitted sins and healed the sick. After his Ascension, he continues to do this in his Church by the power of the Holy Spirit in the Holy Mysteries of Repentance and Holy Anointing.
THE HOLY MYSTERY OF REPENTANCE
449 The Holy Mystery of Repentance (or Confession) is a marvellous manifestation of God’s love and mercy towards us sinners. This is because the Lord does not reject us and does not turn away from us when we, having been washed of our sins in Baptism and endowed with divine grace, sin again through malice or weakness. Indeed, the Lord awaits our repentance. He forgives us if we repent and confess our sins (see Lk 15:12-32).
450 In the celebration of the Holy Mystery of Repentance, the Church actualizes the words of the Lord to the apostles:
“Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” ( Jn 20:22-23).
Every priest continues the apostolic ministry in the Mystery of Repentance when he absolves the faithful of their sins and reconciles them with the Church. The priest pronounces the prayer of absolution and every penitent thereby receives Christ’s forgiveness.
About Spiritual Struggle and Repentance
451 The vocation of the Christian to share in the life of Christ and to participate in his mission requires unceasing efforts in the spiritual struggle with passions and sins:
“For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Eph 6:12).
The spiritual struggle of the Christian begins with the public renunciation of the devil and the joining to Christ in the Holy Mystery of Baptism. Subsequently, the strengthening of the Christian in his or her spiritual growth is realized through participation in the Mysteries of Repentance and the Eucharist.
452 In the spiritual struggle, the Christian is not ‘left to fend for himself.’ Rather, by the power of the Holy Spirit the Christian acts together with Christ (in synergy) under the Church’s maternal care. Even though we have been called to grow gradually “to the measure of the full stature of Christ” (Eph 4:13), through human weakness we often go astray, lose hope in God’s love, or freely and consciously cooperate with the powers of evil. Nevertheless, God does not turn away from the person who sinned. Instead, in his love and mercy he grants the possibility of repenting—that is, to return to the life that flows from Baptism: “Remember, then, from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first” (Rev 2:5).
453 To repent means to come to know and confess one’s faults, and to renounce sin: Those who confess their sins and accuse themselves for them already work with God.
454 Ongoing repentance is not about focusing on one’s faults and offenses. It is first of all about discovering God’s love. In the light of God’s love we realize to what extent sin separates us from him and prevents us from abiding in his love.
“The one who sins does so because they do not appreciate the value and importance of God’s grace. To bring someone
to repentance one must first of all clearly and fundamentally show them the magnitude of God’s gift, which they lose through grave sin.”
455 Frequent Confession allows us to know not only our faults and offenses, but also our weaknesses and inclinations to sin. Through the grace of the Mystery of Repentance, the Christian overcomes sins and the tendency to sin. This grace also raises up the Christian after a fall, and strengthens him or her in the virtues. The fruits of repentance are good works, almsgiving, purity of heart, and sacrificial love. The gift of the Mystery of Repentance is forgiveness from God and reconciliation with him:
“[Give] thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has rescued us from the power of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Col 1:12-14).
The Rite of Confession
456 Confession is made before a priest, who is a witness of the sinner’s repentance and a mediator of God’s forgiveness: Know, O child, that Christ himself, our Saviour, who knows all the hidden secrets of people’s hearts, is invisibly present, accepting your confession. Therefore do not conceal from me, whether from shame or from fear, anything of your sins … Beware that, having come for healing, you do not leave unhealed.
At the same time, the priest helps penitents to know the state of their soul, confirms their faith in God’s forgiveness, offers spiritual counsel, designates an appropriate spiritual remedy (in Greek, epitimia, i.e., penance), and gives the absolution. As regards the contents of a penitent’s confession, the priest is obliged to maintain the strictest secrecy, even after the penitent’s death.
457 Preparation for Confession requires a prayerful examination of one’s conscience. This consists of aligning our life with the divine commandments, the Church’s precepts, and the Gospel Beatitudes. Metropolitan Andrey Sheptytsky teaches:
A good Confession requires, perhaps, a lengthier preparation. Before holy Confession we should beseech God in prayer for the gift of repentance, the gift of heartfelt tears. Maybe there is even a need to fast, since you know what Jesus Christ said: “This kind can come out only through prayer and fasting” [see Mk 9:29]. There are sins that cannot be expelled from the soul without fasting, without prayer. An important condition of Confession is sincere repentance, the desire to change one’s life. This means having contrition, or sorrow for sins, and a resolution to make amends. Sincere repentance is first of all realizing that one is a sinner in need of God’s forgiveness, and seeing that one’s sins have caused a turning away from God and rejection of his love. An important requisite of Confession is also reconciliation with one’s neighbour: “When you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift” (Mt 5:23-24).
458 Approaching Confession, the penitent receives from the priest a blessing for the Confession. The penitent signs himself or herself with the sign of the holy cross. The penitent then sincerely confesses all the sins committed since the last Confession, and accepts the guidance of the confessor as well as the assigned penance (epitimia). The priest then pronounces the absolution of sins. The epitimia is an ascetic exercise in virtues that are contrary to the sins that had been committed. The aim is to eradicate the habitual inclination to sin and to correct its consequences.
459 If a person has no desire to repent, and refuses to amend the damage caused by sin, he or she thereby becomes incapable of receiving forgiveness of sins, even if they have come to Confession. In order to help such a person understand their lack of repentance and motivate them to true conversion, the priest can refuse him or her absolution. Anyone intentionally concealing grave sins in Confession remains unhealed and commits a sin of sacrilege. If a person in such a state approaches Holy Communion, he or she offends the Lord and commits a grave sin.
The Significance of Confession in the Spiritual Life
460 In the Holy Mystery of Repentance, God grants the Christian growth in the grace of Baptism and the virtues. The closer we come to God, we see our own weaknesses and sinfulness more clearly and thus feel the need for more frequent Confession. According to the spiritual Fathers, if a person confesses rarely, he or she gradually loses the capacity to distinguish between good and evil, which has negative consequences for his or her whole life.
461 Frequent Confession makes a person spiritually sound, and capable of resisting temptation; and it increases their vigour in the spiritual struggle. Appropriate occasions for Confession are the [four] fasts of the liturgical year, during which, according to Church custom, the whole family approaches the Holy Mystery of Confession.
03/16/2024
Glory to Jesus Christ!
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Today we continue our Parish retreat. The retreat theme is the “Holy Mystery of Repentance”. And today we will reflect on the nature of sins.
Sin in Human Life
756 Having been created by God, human beings are called to grow into the freedom of the children of God (see Rom 8:21). But they have not always been faithful to this vocation. Adam and Eve, having succumbed to deception, rejected God’s will and thus weakened their ability to exercise the gift of freedom. Christian tradition refers to this refusal to obey God as sin. Having sinned, humanity placed itself in an unnatural condition: separation from God and alienation from neighbours.
758 Sin is, first of all, a person’s state that manifests itself in actions, and a sinful deed is the conscious and voluntary violation of God’s commandment. Violation of even one of God’s commandments is a violation of all of God’s Law.
“For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable [guilty] for all of it. For he who said, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ also said, ‘You shall not murder.’ Now if you do not commit adultery but if you murder, you have become a transgressor of the law” ( Jas 2:10-11).
As one illness can cause another, so one sin leads to another. Saint John of Damascus emphasizes that there are eight evil “thoughts” (in Greek, logismoi), that give rise to sin: gluttony, lust, avarice (love of money), melancholy, anger, acedia (despondency), vainglory, and pride. We call them the capital sins as they are the root of all other sinful acts.
The Eight Capital Sins and Their Opposite Virtues
a. Gluttony and Its Opposite Virtue—Temperance
759 Human beings have a natural need for food and drink; food is necessary to support life. However, an excessive desire for food distorts a natural human need. This leads to the sin of gluttony, wherein food becomes an end in itself. There are various manifestations of this sin. The first of these is excess in food and drink. The Holy Fathers taught that food consumed in excess harms the soul. The second manifestation of gluttony is the quest for food and drink primarily for pleasure. A lack of self-control in eating and drinking leads to voraciousness in everything else, since one seeks to satiate the hunger and thirst of the soul by overindulging the body. Saint John Cassian notes:
“We cannot possibly scorn the gratification of food presented to us, unless the mind is fixed on … the delight of things celestial.”
760 The sin of gluttony can be overcome by the virtue of temperance in food and drink, which we achieve through fasting. Saint John Chrysostom teaches:
We have, you see, a gentle and loving Lord who demands nothing of us beyond our capabilities. In other words, it is not arbitrarily that he looks for fasting and abstinence from food to be performed by us, nor simply for the sake of our remaining without food, but rather that we may be detached from things of this life and devote all our spare time to spiritual matters.
b. Lust and Its Opposite Virtue—Wholeness of Being
761 The sexual impulse is natural for a human being. The essence of the passion of lust lies in the unrestrained and disordered quest for bodily gratification, when a person is driven by self-love and a desire to please oneself, often at the expense of one’s own dignity and the dignity of another person. Lust leads to a variety of sins: pre-marital sexual relations (fornication) and extramarital sexual relations (adultery), sexual slavery, and the commodification of the person. This passion is dangerous not only for the body but also for the soul, because it enslaves a person and destroys the ability to love. The spiritual Fathers consequently stress the necessity of constantly struggling against this passion.
763 A human being achieves chastity in the sexual life through the virtue of wholeness of being. This virtue orders the sexual impulse through love of neighbour and self. Chastity allows a person to control one’s sexual impulse and restores the harmony of body, soul, and spirit.
c. Avarice (Love of Money) and Its Opposite Virtue—Generosity
764 Avarice is a passion for money and material goods. The Holy Fathers taught that love of wealth is not part of man’s innate nature, but appears as a distortion of man’s desire for eternal life. The passion for acquiring wealth, which takes possession of a person, makes one a slave to money. The acquisition of wealth becomes an end in itself and leads to various sins. Such a passion gives rise to the illusion of one’s self-sufficiency as we come to rely solely on material goods. Saint John Chrysostom teaches:
Wealth is not a bad thing, but avarice and love of money are. A covetous person is one thing, and a rich person is another thing. The covetous person is not rich; he is in want of many things, and while he needs many things, he can never be rich. The covetous man is a keeper, not a master, of wealth; a slave, not a lord.
Saint John Climacus regards avarice and greed as idolatry, since in such blindness a person places all his hopes in earthly goods.765 The virtue of generosity and its concrete expression, almsgiving, make a person capable of properly managing material goods and growing rich in God. Saint John Chrysostom exhorts:
And let there be no gold lying by in your houses, but that which is more precious than millions of money, that is, alms and love to man, for your treasure. For this gives us boldness toward God, but the other… causes the devil to bear hard upon us… Arm your right hand against him… stow away all your fortune in your mind, and instead of a chest and a house, let heaven keep your gold… Why then do we, to the neglect of our own selves, waste all our attention upon those things, which when we are gone we can no longer reach, and often even while we stay here we cannot keep hold of, when we might have such riches as to be found not in this life only, but also in that, in the easiest circumstances?
d. Melancholy (Sadness) and Its Opposite Virtue—Joy in the Holy Spirit
766 The Holy Fathers, in accordance with the teaching of the apostle Paul, distinguished between salvific sorrow for one’s sins and melancholy as a passion:
“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret, but worldly grief produces death” (2 Cor 7:10).
Sinful melancholy as a passion reveals itself in one of two ways. Most often it is roused by some other passion, when we desire something but cannot satisfy this yearning. This gives rise to depression, which can lead to despair and even suicide. Melancholy can also arise from excessive anxiety about one’s future, from attempting to control one’s life by relying only on the self and not on God. Saint Basil the Great teaches that melancholy is a sign of the weak in spirit, since they lose spiritual equilibrium, inflict spiritual suffering on themselves, and thus risk definitively losing their hope in God.
767 The Spirit-Comforter (or Advocate) is the source of the virtue of Christian joy, which liberates from the passion of melancholy. He grants one the joy of experiencing closeness with God. The apostle Paul exhorts:
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Phil 4:4-6).
e. Anger and Its Opposite Virtue—Long-suffering
768 Anger as a passion is not merely a feeling of malice. It is the state of a person who aggressively defends his or her existence without hope in God and to the detriment of one’s neighbour. The Holy Fathers differentiate between three types of anger: 1) anger that burns within – this is a state of the soul in which a person loses internal tranquillity and is overcome by feelings of malice, offence, and irritation; 2) anger manifested in word and deed, in speech that is coarse and devoid of gentleness and love. The most common manifestations of this anger are flashes of rage, the intentional humiliation of one’s neighbor, giving offence to another, and calumny. Saint John Chrysostom teaches:
“When you inflict insults, then you are defeated, not by another person, but by what is far more disgraceful, by the slavish passion of anger. However, if you remain silent, then you will conquer;” and 3) anger that seethes for a long time or resentment – this sort of anger is particularly ruinous for a person, since he or she consciously refuses to forgive an insult or a wrong, and burns with a yearning for revenge.
769 Anger is an especially dangerous passion because it gives rise to violence, murder, division, and war. In The Shepherd of Hermas, anger is called the angel of evil which rules over a person:
“When anger comes upon you, or harshness, know that he [the angel of malice] is in you.”
770 The virtue of long-suffering, which we also call patience or quiet gentleness, is characterized by confidence in the protection of God, and thus allows one to resist human anger.
“Fret not yourself because of the wicked, be not envious of wrongdoers! … Hope in the Lord, and do good; so you will dwell in the land and be fed with its wealth … Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him” (Ps 36[37]:1, 3, 7). Saint John Chrysostom teaches: “For if we show patience, we shall be invincible; and there is nobody either great or small, who will have power to hurt us.”
f. Acedia (Despondency) and Its Opposite Virtue—Cheerfulness of Spirit
771 The Holy Fathers described despondency (in Greek, akedia) as exhaustion and fatigue of the soul. A melancholic person underestimates the power of the Lord, but a despondent person underestimates God’s mercy. Melancholy drives a person to rely only on his or her own strength, while acedia completely deprives him or her of hope. The Holy Fathers called acedia the “noonday demon” (see Ps 90[91]:6). It extinguishes one’s vigour for spiritual development. Acedia gives rise to feelings of desolation and aversion for life, and a sense of its emptiness, as well as to a loss of confidence in one’s salvation. It leads to a person’s psychological and physical exhaustion; one succumbs to laziness and becomes discouraged and incapable of spiritual combat.
773 The virtue of cheerfulness of spirit or sobriety of mind gives a person the means to renew one’s spiritual strength and continue spiritual combat with the help of God’s grace. Therefore prepare your minds for action; discipline yourselves; set all your hope on the grace that Jesus Christ will bring you when he is revealed” (1 Pt 1:13). Saint Isaac the Syrian teaches:
“If we observe the law of vigilance and practise discernment with knowledge, from which the fruit of life is reaped, then the struggle with the assaults of the passions will in nowise draw near our mind.”
g. Vainglory and Its Opposite Virtue—Humble-Mindedness
774 Vainglory (also known as vanity) is the passion for earthly and human glory, and all manner of honours. The root of vainglory is found in a person’s dependence on what others think of him or her. Manifestations of vainglory include intolerance of criticism, a refusal to acknowledge one’s mistakes, and a constant desire for praise from others. Vainglory manifests itself in boasting of one’s material achievements or intellectual abilities and talents, as well as bringing attention to one’s spiritual accomplishments.
775 Attachment to earthly glory makes a person’s spiritual growth impossible. This is because it replaces the pursuit of God’s glory with a pursuit of human glory. In teaching about the vanity of temporal glory, Saint John Chrysostom asks:
If you are looking forward to the resurrection and retribution, why go chasing the values of this life to such an extent? … The cause of all evils, however, is vainglory and the desire to give one’s own name to property, baths, houses. What good is it to you, human being that you are, when in no time a fever comes upon you, your soul suddenly takes wings and leaves you alone and naked—or, rather, stripped of virtue but encumbered with injustices, robberies, acts of greed, groanings, lamentations, orphans’ tears, plots, intrigues? … You would therefore have to remain outside, and lumbered with these burdens to repent too late.
776 The virtue of humble-mindedness makes a person capable of perceiving oneself as a creature of its Maker and of living for God rather than for oneself. When one humbly accepts oneself as he or she is in God’s eyes, that person becomes truly wise. The humble-minded person accepts all things sent him or her by God and does everything for his glory.
“Strive first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Mt 6:33). Saint Isaac the Syrian teaches: “Humble-mindedness is the raiment of the Godhead. The Word who became human clothed himself in it, and therewith spoke to us in our body. Every person who has been clothed with it has truly been made like unto him who came down from his own exaltedness.”
h. Pride and Its Opposite Virtue—Humility
777 Pride is the most dangerous passion and the mother of all sins. It was because of pride that Satan fell from God, and it is precisely pride that has ruined the prolonged endeavors of many an ascetic. Pride is a person’s idolatrous self-deification: a person exalts oneself over other people and puts oneself in the place of God. The proud person is closed to God’s grace:
“The Lord opposes the proud; but he gives grace to the humble” (Prv 3:34, lxx; see 1 Pt 5:5 and Jas 4:6). Saint Augustine teaches that pride is the source of all evil, and in order to overcome all other sins, one must rid oneself of the root cause—pride: “Whence does iniquity abound? From pride. Cure pride and there will be no more iniquity. Consequently, that the cause of all diseases might be cured, namely, pride, the Son of God came down and was made low.”
778 The proud person usually does not see his or her own sin. This person is filled with self-love, finds it difficult to forgive, and to ask forgiveness of others, and has trouble relenting. Such a person rejects all forms of authority and frequently flares up in anger. He or she bears grudges, constantly judges other people, and envies their successes. Pride deceitfully takes control even of those who, having achieved virtue, regard themselves, rather than God, as the cause of their achievements.
779 The most effective means of combatting pride is to train oneself in humility. This opens a person toward God and neighbour, and makes a person capable of receiving God’s transfiguring and liberating power. The apostle Paul declares:
“We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Cor 10:4-5).
Through the virtue of humility, a person stands in truth before the face of God. Therefore, Christian humility does not demean a person, but allows one to recognize one’s true dignity as a child of God. Saint John Chrysostom teaches:
He who places humility as the foundation of his character can safely build a building of any height. It [humility] is the strongest palisade, an immovable wall, an impenetrable fortress; it supports the entire edifice and does not allow it to fall… it makes it inaccessible to all attacks… and through it God, the lover of mankind, pours out on us his plentiful gifts.
03/17/2024
Glory to Jesus Christ!
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Today we have our third day of Parish retreat. And we continue to reflect on our general topic of the Holy Mystery of Reconciliation.
Preparation
5 steps to making a Good Confession
1. Examination of Conscience – Know your sins.
2. Contrition– Be sorry for your sins
3. Decide not to sin again.
4. Confess your sins to a priest.
5. Penance – Do the penance the priest gives you.
Before confession, each person must attempt to recall all of his/her sins, both voluntary and involuntary, those committed since the last confession as well as those past sins which, through forgetfulness, have never been confessed. Prayer and fasting help the penitent remember and recognize his/her sinfulness. Then, with compunction and with a contrite heart begin to confess your sins.
If you have not been to confession in a long time and are unsure of yourself on how to begin, do not be afraid. Tell the priest and he will help you.
1. Confess your sins honestly, remembering that you are disclosing them not to a man but to God Himself, Who already knows your sins, but wishes you to admit to them. There is no reason to feel shame before your spiritual father. He is a person, just like you. Because he knows human weakness and man’s inclination to sin, he cannot be your judge. Do not be embarrassed before you spiritual father or afraid to lose his good opinion of you. Your spiritual father will love you all the more, seeing your sincere confession.
2. Confess all of your sins in full, each sin separately. The sinner is spiritually ill and the spiritual father is a physician or healer. It follows that you must relate or confess your sins to your spiritual father the same way that a physically ill person relates his symptoms to a physician.
3. Do not complain about others during confession or talk about their sins. You would be condemning them, thus committing another sin.
4. In confession, do not attempt to justify yourself in any way, blaming weakness, habit, etc. The more you justify yourself, the less you will be justified by God, while the more you condemn your actions, the more you will be justified by God.
5. Unless asked by your spiritual father, do not talk about sins you have not committed, emulating the Pharisee in the Gospel who only praised himself and did not confess his sins.
6. We must confess with sorrow and a contrite heart the sins by which we have grieved our Lord God. Speaking matter-of-factly or casually about sins committed or laughing during confession reflect a lack of repentance.
7. Finally, confess your sins with faith in Jesus Christ, with hope in His mercy and confidence in His love for you.
Frequency of Confession for Eastern Catholics
1. The Scriptures teach that there is a basic undercurrent of sin in everyone’s life, “for all have sinned, all have fallen short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). At the same time, it teaches there are distinctions in sins.
2. In distinguishing among sins, the Eastern Churches have employed the distinction between sins and transgressions. A sin would be considered a misdeed committed deliberately and with knowledge. A transgression would be an action which may be as wrong objectively, but is committed inadvertently or in ignorance. It is this distinction which is employed in many liturgical prayers. In the Divine Liturgy, we pray, “have mercy on me and pardon my offences: the deliberate and indeliberate, those committed in word and in deed, whether knowingly or unknowingly….” This to insult someone deliberately or to maliciously destroy his property would be a sin; to hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally or to accidentally break a favorite item would be a transgression. The other person would still be hurt, but inadvertently. In either case, the image of God in us has been scratched and disfigured, but sins committed in malice are clearly more serious to our spiritual condition than those committed from weakness of unconsciously.
3. Minimalism would be content with avoiding the more serious offense while ignoring the lesser: “It’s only a venial sin,” or, “I didn’t mean it so it’s just a transgression.” However, a person who is serious about deepening his relationship with God is concerned with anything which will affect that relationship or cause love to grow cold.
4. In distinguishing among sins, the Western Church has favored the distinction of mortal and venial sins. To borrow an image from the Psalms, all sin is slipping down a slope. Slipping so far or falling so rapidly that relationship with God is ruptured would be mortal sin. Venial sin would be a slower slipping or a separation not as distant.
In essence, then, a Christian should seek the Mystery of Repentance at least when he or she has sinned mortally. But this, of course, is a minimum. Anyone who is aware of serious sin is to receive the sacrament of penance as soon as possible; it is strongly recommended to all the Christian faithful that they receive this sacrament frequently especially during the times of fasts and penance observed in their own Church sui iuris.
For daily and frequent Holy Communion the Church does not demand confession each time one goes to Holy Communion. One may receive Holy Communion frequently as long as one is not guilty of mortal sin. Venial sins do not constitute an obstacle to Holy Communion. Actually one may receive Holy Communion daily while it suffices that he confess his sins once a month.
The most Holy Eucharist is the holiest and most sacred Mystery because in this Sacrament, under the appearance of bread and wine, the true and living Jesus Christ, our Saviour, Lord and God is present. The Second Vatican Council declares that
“in the Liturgy, therefore, and especially from the Eucharist, as from a font, grace is poured forth upon us: and the sanctification of men in Christ and the glorification of God, to which all other activities of the Church are directed as toward their end are most powerfully achieved…” (Constitution on the Liturgy, 10).
For this reason, the Council directs that we join our participation in the Divine Liturgy with Holy Communion:
“The perfect form of participation in the Divine Liturgy, whereby the faithful, after the priest’s Communion, receive the Lord’s Body from the same sacrifice, is strongly commended.” (§55)
Therefore, let these two great and holy Mysteries serve us as a perpetual fountain of love of God and of neighbor, of our faith and holiness and as our guarantee of everlasting happiness according to the words of Christ:
“Whoever eats my body and drinks my blood, shall have eternal life, and I shall raise him up on the last day.”
Manner of Making Confession in the Byzantine Churches
(Short Form, Ukrainian Tradition)
Many Eastern Christians confess their sins in the front of the church, kneeling before a priest at the iconostasis.
This will also often include a lectern that has a Gospel book on it and a cross. The icon behind the priest will normally be an icon of Jesus Christ, emphasizing the reality that the penitent is confessing their sins to Jesus, and not the priest.
Approach the priest.
Facing the icon of Christ or, if one is not available, the Gospel book and the cross:
Cross yourself twice.
Kiss the Gospel book and the cross.
Cross yourself a third time.
Penitent: I, a sinner, confess to Almighty God, the Lord, One in the Holy Trinity; to the Immaculate Virgin, the Mother of God, to Saint N. my patron saint, to all the Saints, and to you, my spiritual father, all my sins:
Here list all your sins.
Penitent: For these sins, and for all my sins which I cannot remember, I am truly sorry because I have offended God who is good. I sincerely repent and I promise, with the help of God, to better my way of life. And so, I ask you, my spiritual father, for saving penance and absolution.
Prayer of Absolution
The priest may place his epitrachelion (stole) over your head and will make the sign of the cross on your head and say Prayer of Absolution.
After the priest has spoken to you and given absolution, get up and cross yourself twice;
kiss the Gospel book and cross yourself a third time and bow.
Then turn toward the priest, bow to him, saying, “Thank you, Father,” kiss the end of the epitrachelion (stole) which he is wearing, and go to your place.
There, kneel down, say your penance, and thank God in your own words for His great mercy.
Then, go in peace.
Another Short Form of Confession in the Byzantine Churches
(For those who are familiar with the Roman Catholic rite)
Penitent: Bless me, father, for I have sinned. It has been [how long] since my last confession.
Here confess your sins.
Receive any counsel or penance offered.
Crossing yourself after each declaration, say:
Penitent: God, be merciful to me, a sinner. ✚
Penitent: God, cleanse me of my sins and have mercy on me. ✚
Penitent: I have sinned without number, forgive me, O Lord. ✚
The priest then says the prayer of absolution.
Examination of Conscience for Adults
A good examination of conscience can be a great help in making a new start in the life of faith. We use an examination of conscience to help call to mind our sins and failings during a period of quiet reflection before approaching the Priest in Confession.
A good Christian examination of conscience needs to be thorough. This will help you to consider what sins you are guilty of and make you aware of sins you might not realize as sins. It’s also a chance to develop your conscience. This is a critical aid for any Catholic.
To make an examination:
• Set aside some quiet time for reflection.
• Start by praying to the Holy Spirit, asking for help in making a good examination to prepare for Confession.
• Read through the matters of this list and honestly reflect on your behavior for each.
• You may want to take this list or some brief notes (in secrecy to avoid scandal) to Confession to help you remember things.
• Remember that a mortal sin is committed when :
1. Full Knowledge that the act (thought, word or omission) was contrary to God’s will (sinful) is possessed by the offender;
2. Full Consent (with intentionality; i.e., not forced) is held by the one committing the sin;
3. Grave Matter (anything under the Ten Commandments and the Precepts of the Church) is the circumstances of the sin. Not to belabor the point, but, there is a difference in grave matter between stealing $10 from a friend and stealing $10,000 from an orphanage.
If any of these three conditions are not met the sin is to be known as venial. It is a very good idea to confess venial sins as well, since these sins, like all sin, offend God Who deserves all of our love. Confessing venial sins helps us to be more sensitive to God and more faithful in our love to Him.
If all three conditions are met the sin is known as mortal.
Remember, ALL mortal sins must be confessed according to the kind (what type of sin) and the number of times committed for a valid confession. If one willingly withholds and conceals a sin in confession it is a sacrilege (which is another mortal sin), and it invalidates the absolution. Do not worry! Do not be afraid! Jesus wants you to tell him your sins with honesty and courageousness that he may remove the hurt from your heart and soul. Do not further steep yourself in sin by concealing sins in confession.
Also, it should be noted, the priest is bound under pain of grievous mortal sin and excommunication, if he ever reveals anything said in the confessional. No matter how grievous the sin, do not be afraid. Admit your failings openly and God will grant you His sweet gift of forgiveness.
Begin your examination with the time of your last confession. Try to recall whether you omitted anything from fear of embarrassment that needs to be confessed. With the help or the self-examination provided, call to mind all the sin you have committed since your last confession.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. Putting God First: I am the Lord your God; you shall not have other gods before me.
Has God been the source, centre and hope of my life? Have I put myself, anyone or anything before God? Have I given to anyone or anything the love, honour and worship that belongs to God alone? Have I made an idol of any person, idea, occupation or thing? Have I failed to trust in God, His love and mercy? Have I failed to pray to God and to worship Him faithfully? Have I been thankful for God’s blessings? Have I doubted the Christian faith? Have I tried to serve God and keep His Commandments faithfully? Have I murmured or complained against God in adversities?
2. Respect for God: You shall not take the Name of the Lord your God in vain.
Do I have a deep and sincere respect for God and His Holy Name? Have I shown disrespect to God, either in word or deed? Have I dishonoured God’s Name in any way? Have I sworn a false oath? Have I broken any solemn promise or vow that was done before God? Have I cursed or used foul language?
3. Respect for the Lord’s Day: Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.
Have I worshiped God faithfully on Sundays and major holy days? Have I helped others to do the same, or have I discouraged them? Have I worked or shopped unnecessarily on Sundays or major holy days? Have I caused others to do so? Have I spent the Lord’s Day in wholesome and edifying ways? Have I made time for family and friends?
4. Respect for Parents and Authority: Honour your father and mother.
Have I loved and respected my parents as I should? Have I neglected them, or failed to help them? Have l disobeyed them, deceived them or caused them pain by my words and deeds? Have I treated my family members with patience and love? Have I respected my teachers, superiors, employers (those who are in authority) as I should? Have I disobeyed or deceived them by my words or deeds? Have I treated fairly all those who have worked for me?
5. Respect for Human Life: You shall not kill.
Have I caused the harm, injury or death of anyone? Have I wished my own or anyone’s harm or death? Have I caused others to sin? Have I abused my health or the health of others by evil and intemperate living (i.e. drugs, alcohol, etc.)? Have l given way to anger or hatred? Have I failed to forgive anyone or harboured evil thoughts against them? Have I been cruel to anyone? Have I encouraged someone in procuring an abortion? Have I had an abortion?
6. & 9.Respect for Marriage: You shall not commit adultery. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife.
Have I committed any sin of lust, alone or with others (masturbation, fornication, adultery)? Have I caused others to commit impure acts? Have I sinned by giving way to impure thoughts, words or conversations? Have I read immoral books or magazines, or delighted in obscenity of any kind? Have l associated with bad company or frequented placed of ill-repute? Do I maintain modesty and decency in dress? Have I practiced birth control/contraception?
7. & 10. Respect for Private Property: You shall not steal. You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbour.
Have l taken or kept anything that was not mine? Have l cheated anyone? Have I caused others to steal or cheat? Have I tried to find the owners of lost things I have found? Have I damaged or destroyed anything that belonged to another? Have I defrauded anyone of their rightful wages? Have I paid my debts? Have I worked honesty and conscientiously for my wages? Did I spend beyond my means? Do I give alms according to my capacity? Have I looked with envy, jealousy or hatred toward the possessions, talents or achievements of others? Have I desired the downfall or loss of others out of evil intent that I might benefit? Have I grieved that God has bestowed greater blessing on others than on me?
8. Respect for Truth: You shall not bear false witness.
Have I given false testimony against anyone? Have l spoken evil, told lies, or spread rumours about anyone? Have I unjustly accused someone? Have l disclosed to anyone the sins and faults of another? Have l betrayed the confidence of another? Have I made careless statements or done anything else to harm the good name and reputation of another person? Have I engaged in idle gossip, (discussing that which is doubtful as if it were true), hearsay and backbiting?
THE BEATITUDES
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Have l truly recognized my complete dependence on God? Have I been proud, arrogant and self-righteous? Have I been selfish, greedy, possessive and self-seeking? Have I sought after status, recognition, power, material possessions and wealth?
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Have l endured difficulties and afflictions with faith and patience? Do I have compassion for the poor, the hungry, and addicted; the sick the lonely and the sinful of the world? Have I truly been sorrowful for my sins and faults?
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Am I gentle with others, or am I harsh in my behavior? Do I seek to dominate others at home, school, work, office, church and elsewhere? Have l lost my temper? Have I nursed hatred in my heart or the desire for revenge? Have I been impatient, resentful, bitter, unforgiving or insulting and abusive to others? Have l loved my enemies?
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Do I thirst for holiness? Do I truly yearn for God’s Will to be done, in my life and in all things? Have I tried to cultivate a righteous and holy life through prayer, fasting, almsgiving, worship, the reading of Holy Scripture, frequent Confession and Communion? Have I been lukewarm in my faith? Have I been lazy, negligent or apathetical?
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Have I been merciful to others? Have l turned away from someone who needed my help? Have I turned my back on someone poor, hungry, rejected, lonely and needy? Have I tried to understand and to forgive others? Have I been indifferent or judgmental?
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Do I love purity and honesty? Have I been dishonest in my speech or actions? Have the motives or intentions of my actions been evil or selfish? Have I given way to lust, impure thoughts, words or deeds? Have I been guilty of prejudice? Have I been hypocritical, pretentious or self-indulgent to sinful passions?
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall he called children of God.
Am I at peace with God? Do I have His peace in my heart? Have l been angry, aggressive or impatient? Do I foster peace at home, work, church and community? Have I been irritable or polemical? Have I caused division and discord? Is my criticism harmful and disruptive, or does it build up others in charity?
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Have I complained when persecuted for God’s sake? Have I prayed for my enemies? Have I failed to defend people who are fight for fear of humiliation or persecution? Have I had the courage to stand up for the truth despite criticism, ridicule or persecution? Am I afraid to witness my faith in Christ Jesus?
Blessed are you when they revile you and persecute you on my account; rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.
Is the joy of Christ in my heart, even in trying moments? Do I give thanks to God in all circumstances, or do I complain often? Have I been pessimistic, negative, despondent or despairing? Have I truly delighted in the promise of God’s treasures in heaven?
Reference: http://www.royaldoors.net/2015/02/examination-of-conscience-for-adults/
An Examination of Conscience for Children
Examination of Conscience for Children based on the Ten Commandments
Make God the most important thing in your life.
Is God the most important thing in my life, or have I made other things in my life more important than God?
Do I remember to talk to God every day?
Do I choose what God wants for me over what I want for myself?
Use God’s name the right way.
Do I speak God’s name or Jesus’ name respectfully?
Have I spoken God’s name or Jesus’ name inappropriately when I was angry or to impress my friends?
Make Sunday a day to worship God.
Have I tried my best to worship God at Divine Liturgy by singing, praying the prayers with the community, and listening?
Have I misbehaved during Divine Liturgy?
Love your parents and follow their rules.
Have I obeyed my parents—even when they are not looking?
Have I talked back to my parents?
Be kind to the people and animals God made.
How have I been kind or unkind to others?
Do I share what I have with others?
Have I solved disagreements in a peaceful way?
Have I fought with anyone?
Be respectful in the things you do.
Do I show respect for others in what I do and say?
Do I show respect for and cooperate with my teachers?
Do I care for my health and follow safety rules?
Take care of other people’s things; don’t take what belongs to someone else.
How have I respected other people’s things?
Have I taken something that doesn’t belong to me?
Tell the truth.
Do I tell the truth?
Have I told a lie or things that were only partly true?
Think good thoughts and say good words.
Have I thought good thoughts and said good words?
Have I told or listened to any dirty jokes?
Have I watched any movies or shows that I shouldn’t have seen?
Do I try to keep my mind on good things?
Be happy with the things you have.
Am I happy with what I have or do I always want more?
Have I been jealous of what other people have?
An Examination of Conscience for Older Kids, Teens, and Parents
This examination of conscience is taken from The Catholic Family Book of Prayers.
This brief examination of conscience, loosely based on the Ten Commandments.
Have I made anything more important than God: myself, others, money, things I own, things I want, ideas, activities, or goals? Have I set aside time to pray to God every day?
Have I acted pridefully, as if I know everything, am better than others, or don’t need God or others?
Have I used God’s name in a bad way? Have my words hurt God, his Church, or the good he wants for all people?
Have my words and actions given glory to God’s name? Have I shared my faith with those who do not know God?
Have I gone to Divine Liturgy when I should? Have I fully shared in the celebration of Divine Liturgy? Have I listened to the Word of God and the homily? Have I received the Eucharist reverently? Have I spent my Sundays in prayer, rest, service, and family time?
Have I given love and respect to my father and mother? Have I obeyed them? Have I tried to help them without being asked? Have I whined, complained, nagged, or otherwise been difficult toward them? Have I been loving and respectful to my brothers and sisters?
Parents: Have I shown love and respect to my children? Have I been patient and kind? Have I disciplined my children with love, and in ways that help them become the people God wants them to be?
Have I been a good citizen? Have my words and actions strengthened my community, or harmed it?
Have I hurt others, with my hands or my words? Have I given support or encouragement to those who hurt others? Have I excluded others, or treated others with less than the respect they deserve as children of God? Have I held onto anger or hatred toward others? Have I refused to forgive others?
Have I respected my body? Have I given my body what it needs to be strong and healthy? Have I viewed pornography, engaged in sexual acts outside of marriage, or otherwise offended human dignity for my own pleasure?
Have I taken what does not belong to me? Have I wasted time or resources? Have I used my talents and resources to help those in need? Have I let others borrow my possessions for good reason? Have I done my work well? Have I contributed to the good of others through my work? Have I done my chores and schoolwork as best I can, with a good attitude?
Have I always told the truth to myself, God, and others? Have I gossiped, or shared information I shouldn’t have?
Have I been grateful for what I have, or greedy to have what others have? Have I been generous with my time and possessions? Have I given away what I do not need?
The Bible on Confession
• “I give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed heaven” (Matthew 16:19).
• “Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 18:18).
• “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:22-23).
• “Go, show yourself to the Priest” (Luke 5:14; 17:14; Matthew 8:4).
• “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15).
• “He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him” (John 3:36).
“Be courageous, and go to confession.”
